Mindfulness Schmindfulness

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Mindfulness schmindfulness!

What is all the fuss about mindfulness? It seems to be everywhere now, but what does it mean? And why would I do it?

Mindfulness comes out of eastern meditation practices. Yes, let’s sit on the floor in a saffron robe folded in a lotus or some other flexibly impossible bent position with our eyes closed, a serene expression of bliss on our faces. This seems foreign and impossible. In this world of cell phones, work demands, and general busy-ness, the idea of sitting and doing nothing but breathing quietly may sound like torture. Others can only imagine how difficult it would be to sit still and quietly. Countless people have told me, “I can’t do that, I can’t make my mind be quiet!”

Fortunately you don’t have to be able to sit on the floor, folded like origami and manage somehow to stop the lightening fast non-stop thoughts that run through your brain in order to experience and benefit from mindfulness. You don’t have to make your mind be quiet.

What good is it?? What good does it do? First we have to talk about what mindfulness is in order to understand what good it may serve. I think of mindfulness as curiousity. It is taking a moment to notice our inner experience. What is that!?!?! We have an inner experience? We do! All of us, all the time. Most of the time we walk around vaguely aware of ourselves. We’re aware of tasks, working, worries, lists, a few body sensations like hungry, tired, stiff, etc. A few flashes of emotion here or there, anger at the person who just cut you off, annoyance at the price of gasoline, a laugh at the cuteness of your baby or a smile from a co-worker or friend.

Is that all of it? Is there something else going on inside us that we are not aware of??? Here’s how mindfulness can change things. What if we spent a little more time on one particular worry. What if we tried a mindful practice of stopping, sitting still (on a chair or couch is fine!) and checking in with ourselves about that one thing. Ok, so I keep worrying about my son’s new habit of chewing on his sleeve. Sit down, take a breath, what can I notice when I think about this habit? Ugh, it’s kind of gross. Ok, so there’s a little concern about the cleanliness of it. What else? Ah, there’s a worry thought. Is he ok? Is he doing that in lieu of his old pacifier habit and does that mean he’s stressed? That leads me to thought of what has been going on in his life and reasons why he might be stressed. Ok, that could lead me to a whole lot of other thoughts and worries but I want to stay mindful of this one worry. Curious. So back to it, I imagine him doing that in my mind, there he is (cutie-pie) and I can see him with his wet sleeve in his mouth. Ah, I notice a feeling of compassion. The thought arises, it must feel good to him, to chew on that. He must need it for something, even if I am not sure what. Then I notice that I take a deep breath. Ok, so maybe that’s enough for now. I have noticed my concerns, my worries and I am reminded to pay a little more attention to his
stress level.

So a moment of mindful curiosity has given me greater understanding of how I feel and what I want to do with this one worry. Now instead of having that worry run around the hamster wheel of worries that lives in my brain, along with all the other unexamined worries, I have done something with it and it is mildy relieved.

The “practice” of mindfulness is the intentional action of doing what I just described, bringing slowed, conscientious attention to the present moment and being curious. It doesn't solve everything, it doesn't try to solve anything. It just helps me understand myself a little better.